Throwback Thursday: Padolf Pupler Explains Est

as a pup I had a Hitler moustache

hope that’s cool

Today, we take a break from tech stuff and discuss some of the weird shit the CIA does to influence the direction of American society

one of the really weird things the CIA did in the late ’70s through the end of the Cold War was to heavily promote an organization called Est

as usual, I won’t point fingers at contemporary organizations, but I will be descriptive enough for you to make your own evaluation

fake KGB agent on TV: “est made me feel so much better”

the human: *projectile-vomits contents of entire stomach on TV set while laughing hysterically*

 In the late 1970s, the CIA had a big problem on their hands. The biggest generation in American history – the Baby Boomers – had come of age, and were gaining power, money, and political influence.

they were also pretty left wing, comparatively speaking: unlike the generation that fought the Korean War, this generation had a serious problem with foreign wars like the one in Vietnam, and didn’t seem overly bothered by socialism

naturally this had to be fixed. oh man, i feel a booze binge coming on

c’mon, knock one back with me here

 War and its associated accoutrements make up a huge part of the US economy; keeping that ball rolling was a pretty big deal – for both sides of the  Cold War

but it’s pretty hard to get people to actively disagree with the notion that killing people is a bad idea, so the way you keep the military-industrial ball in play is to direct attention elsewhere

this was pretty easy to do to the Boomers

CIA agent 1: so what in the hell do we do with these leftist nutjobs
CIA agent 2: i have no fucking clue
CIA agent 1: yeah but we have to do something. what the fuck do i tell the director if this stuff keeps up
CIA agent 2: well I know a guy from college who works for an ad agency on Madison Avenue now, he’s pretty good at this stuff
CIA agent 1: ok cool. give him a call then
CIA agent 2 *on telephone* “hey brad, this is mike, we haven’t spoken in like eight years but I’m, you know, trying to keep the peasants from revolting and stuff so we don’t slide into an economic depression. any thoughts?
ad guy: well you could always try exploiting narcissism, fuck, that’s all we really do all day
CIA agent 2: tell me more
ad guy: well I personally recommend finding ways to make people think they’re delving deep into their souls and finding that they’re really a Ford guy, or a Gilette guy, or an Avon girl, or…or…or whatever
ad guy: i mean, this is america, there’s generally not much there, but you gotta give them something to find, because if they dig deep and all they find is a giant pile of dead Vietnamese farmers who never gave a fuck about politics at all that’s pretty fucking depressing, you know?
CIA agent 2: yeah ok tell me more
ad guy: so the other day I saw a flyer for this talk by some german guy. i don’t remember his name but it was all about finding who you were inside, escaping your hangups and stuff. i mean, he’s german, there’s practically a porn shop on every corner there, it’s no wonder they’re so open
ad guy: it seemed a lot like the stuff we try to do to get people to make brands a part of their life, except…oh wait, here it is, it’s Warner Erhart
CIA agent 2: ok great but what exactly does this mean for us
ad guy: well you could give him some money, start scheduling talks, if it goes well, expand it using members, you know, kind of like an Amway for motivational speaking, get people to think about themselves and their identities instead of about politics, give them levels and badges kind of like boy scouts, maybe even pay them as if it were a real job or something
CIA agent 2: huh. well i can cut you a check right now for a million bucks is that cool
ad guy: yeah sure I guess, we’ll get on it
CIA agent 2: great. what are you going to call it?
ad guy: i dunno…wait. so I went out to lunch at this jewish deli around the corner yesterday. the owner’s from Russia, Odessa I think, and he screams at people a lot to eat their food, i mean, famines apparently do that to you and I was asking him about it. so the verb for eating in Russian is “est” and it also means “to have” like “I have a car” and stuff. let’s call it est, that should be a funny way for you to kick some dust in the Russkies’ faces
CIA agent 2: uh yeah that sounds great. run with it
CIA agent 2: so I gave my guy a million dollars what do you think is that too much
CIA agent 1: give him two